How to Tell Your Spouse You’re Addicted to Pornography

Do you suspect that you’re addicted to pornography, but you aren’t sure how to let your spouse know what’s going on? This guide tells how.

Pornography may have started off as something fun for you.

Unfortunately, things are different now.

There’s no doubt about it. Pornography is consuming your life.  You’ve been sneaking off to watch it at work, you’re starting to prefer it over your spouse, and it’s gotten to the point where you have to come clean.

First off know that you aren’t alone.  It’s estimated that 33% of men between the ages of 18 and 30 either think that they are addicted or are unsure if they are addicted to pornography

This isn’t going to be a simple conversation.  We don’t have magic words that can help smooth things over. But, we do have tips that can help make the talk a little easier.

Be honest

If you’re going to reveal your pornography addiction to your spouse, you need to be honest with them.

A lot of addicts find it difficult to be honest about their problems with their loved ones.  It can be hard to open up after spending months, or even years, hiding your behavior from them.

Regardless of if you’re worried about feeling shame or don’t want to hurt them, you have to be honest when you’re telling them about your problems with pornography.  They deserve to know the truth.

If you aren’t ready to be honest, you aren’t ready to tell them about your pornography addiction.

Understand that you may not get your ideal outcome

You may think that you know your spouse, but you won’t know their reaction to your addiction news.

They may become angry and demand a divorce.  They could immediately feel depressed and sorrowful. It’s possible that they may deny that you have a problem altogether.

Regardless of their reaction, you need to find a way to deal with it.  Expect the unexpected and be ready to move forward.

Don’t place blame/rationalize

It can be hard to come to grips with your own struggles with pornography.  When you’re telling your spouse about your pornography addiction, don’t try to blame it on others or outside factors.

Some people may say that they’ve been stressed out at their job and used pornography as a way to escape.

You may be tempted to say that since pornography is easy to access that you couldn’t avoid it and were bound to get in trouble.

A few may even try to blame their spouse and relationship problems.

Those may be reasons why you turned to porn, but they won’t be helpful when you’re telling your spouse about your problem.

Making the conversation about anything but your issue is bound to lead to disaster.  You can talk about your problems when you’re at an internet pornography treatment center for men.  Don’t focus on that when you’re talking to your spouse.

Be prepared for major changes

Life as you know it is going to change once you reveal your pornography addiction to your spouse.

You may start spending your evenings at a support group or with a therapist instead of relaxing on your couch.  Your spouse may start to heavily monitor your internet activity.

You need to be willing to do whatever it takes to fix your relationship and lessen your dependence on pornography.

Once you accept that things will change once your spouse knows about your addiction, telling them will be easier.

Let us know

Are you worried about revealing your pornography addiction to your spouse? Have you been through it and want to help other people?  Tell us your story in our comments section.

 

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